The Letters of Mary Dinneen

I feel like it’s a trip back in time—a calmer, easier time when it was fun to go to the mailbox.Her letters are always full of encouragement, spiritual directionand a desire to care for us as only a grandmother can.

–Mary’s son, Jack Dinneen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On one of our recent sweltering summer afternoons, my dear friend, Vickie--a mom, grandma, and Pastor of Children’s Ministry at her church--came over to sit for a spell on my front porch. Vickie and her husband, Jack, have been married for almost 34 years, and have four grown children and four grandchildren.  She shared with me the impact her mother-in-law, Mary, has had on her family over the years, primarily through the written word.

Jean: Thank you so much for coming over, Vicki. Can you tell me a little about Jack's mom, Mary? She lives in Spokane, right?

Vickie: Yes--Mary Dolan Dinneen. Our newest grandson’s middle name is Dolan, in her honor. Mary will be 94-years-old next month—a devout Catholic who loves Jesus.  I met her for the first time the night before our wedding. She greeted me with a big hug and said, “Welcome to the family! I’ve been praying for God to send Jack a godly wife for all of these years—although I didn't know whom I was praying for!”Jean, in my house growing up, Jesus was a swear word. But Mary was so encouraging; she helped me want to be that godly woman. She prays for all her kids in birth order--Jack on Wednesdays because he's her third--and then for all of our kids, and now our grand kids.Jean: Mary—or Gram—still writes to you and your children, too, right?Vickie: Yes, her letters are fewer these days, yet are always filled with words of encouragement. And because she includes God’s words, even the old letters I find stuck in the back of an overstuffed drawer will be something I need to hear right then—years after she’s written them. Her knowledge of the Bible always spills over into what she writes to us. Sometimes I think how does she know that's exactly what I needed to hear or, that's what I was struggling with?Jean: How would you say her letters have impacted your children?Vickie: I asked them, and they texted me their thoughts:

• Sarah, mom to 8-year-old twin girls, Claire and Elsie: Gram’s letters are always a surprise—unexpected, like a gift. It’s nice to know that you are thought of, and to be updated with family news. I think there’s something special about taking the time to put pen to paper; written words are often more thoughtful and carefully crafted than the spoken word. Also, reading and writing are my preferred way to interact with the world, so I feel a special connection when I receive a letter.

• Molly, mom to two boys, 2-year-old Moses and newborn, Shepherd: I love going to the mailbox and seeing her handwriting on an envelope. I know when I open that card I will be refreshed, encouraged and reminded of God’s heart, voice and promises. They always seem to come at moments where I really need a special word and reminder to lift my eyes up to God and see who He has called me to be. She has a real knack for that--I suppose it’s her commitment to praying for each of us.

• Bekah, YWAM midwife, based in Perth,  Australia: When I was a child, Gram was the only person I consistently got mail from. It was a moment of significance and importance when I saw her handwriting on an envelope addressed to me. I think it showed me the power of words, taking time to write something down on paper meant that sometime previous to me opening the letter the person had thought of me. Mom and Dad were always very clear about sending thank you notes to people. Being a missionary now, I find myself writing them constantly and can be thankful for the early training and understanding of what a written letter can mean as they were significant to me growing up—and still are.

• Patrick—a newly Certified Firefighter: What is there not to like about receiving a letter from Gram? Every letter you received was a well-thought-out, loving letter that was encouraging. Everything you told her months ago was incorporated into the letter. It is so personal and loving.

Jean: Hearing this is inspiring—makes me want to write more letters!Vickie: Yes, I got a box and put envelopes with postage and our return address on them for my granddaughters, Claire and Elsie. Sarah says sometimes she'll be putting bills in the mailbox and see that one of the girls has put out a letter in there for Jack and me.Letters cause us to slow down. I still love it when I go to the mailbox and see a letter from Mary. You know, hearing is a challenge for her now, and making phone conversation is difficult; writing is her primary way of keeping in touch. Her handwriting is a little shakier now, and the letters are shorter. But I hear her voice; I see her saying it, and they're still words to hang on to.I also notice in my ministry finding myself writing a lot of notes to people. I see the value of sharing encouragement with others. I think this comes from years of being encouraged in my role of mom by Mary!Jean: Well, I want to be like Mary. I hope her example encourages other grandparents who live far from their grandchildren—letters are powerful. They don’t have to be long, just filled with love and encouragement. Thanks so much for sharing her story with us. How about you? Have you been encouraged by someone through letters? Who might you encourage today through a card or letter?