Lessons From The Waiting Room
My friend, Gretchen Hanna, blogs over at NWHannas--A Peek into Our Family... --these days, mainly about her journey through international adoptions. As many of you know, adoption can be an excruciating waiting game. So it is for Gretchen and her family. Maybe you can relate to some of the challenges she's facing right now:
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Several years ago my husband and I, already parents to two biological children, felt compelled to expand our family through international adoption. God led us to adopt two daughters who are now 7 and 8 years old. Though sharing our last name for over a year now, they still have not received permission from the US government for visas, and continue to live an ocean away from us.Nine months have passed since the girls’ failed visa appointment. Two little pink bicycles, still adorned with fluffy pink bows, stand unmoved in our garage. A bedroom, decorated in aqua and white, holds toys, books, and clothes, all waiting for little hands to touch and explore. And on each bed are matching quilts, stitched with love by a momma with aching arms.There are days when I can’t bear this waiting. Somehow, I tell myself that if this fight made sense—if I could wrap my mind around why the US government hasn't yet authorized us to bring home our daughters—perhaps the waiting would be easier. Then again, perhaps not.Honestly, there have been many times during this wait when I haven’t acted like a faith-filled Christian. I’ve often balked and bucked like a pony with a new bit in its mouth, trying to force the reins of this situation into my own hands, rather than remembering that God has firm hold of my life—and theirs. Yet in God’s waiting room, although I may not get what I want, I always get what I need. Fellow adoptive parents remind me that I’m not alone. They, too, have had to endure long waits for their children to come home. When their children arrive home it gives me hope for our own reunion. But similar to parents who struggle with infertility and yearn each month for that positive pregnancy test, there is always a part of me that is heartbroken when it’s not our turn, yet.The brokenness in the waiting room also includes visitors who pass through under the guise of friendship. But sometimes they’re either looky-loos who just want in on the story, or people who want to give their opinion on how we’ve chosen to live our lives. “Well, if this one doesn’t work out,” they say, “there are a lot of kids in the US who need good homes.”As if children are interchangeable. As if, somehow, because I haven’t birthed these daughters, I could forget my love for them, and switch them out for someone else.Thankfully, most of these visitors leave quickly, but their presence provides an opportunity. I can either sit in anger and frustration, or I can turn to God, seeking His love and will, rather than the opinions of others.Lastly, my waiting room includes faithful friends who remind me of filling stations along a 10K run.One friend, who hosted a shower for the girls over a year ago, has a chalkboard in her kitchen that was decorated in honor of the party. On it is a drawing of Africa and Washington, with a dotted line connecting them. Our daughters’ names are there too, with the verse I will not leave you as orphans; I will come for you. (John 14:18) While she could have erased that picture immediately following the shower, she left it there because it reminds her to pray. That is God. That sustains me during my loneliness and sorrow. That is Jesus in skin, and assuring me that He loves me that when I wait in His waiting room, I’m never alone.Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
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I love that verse Gretchen included from the chalkboard: "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come for you." Isn't the commitment Gretchen has for her two girls the same commitment God has for us?
When have you, like Gretchen, had to wait? Are you in a waiting mode now? What do you find is the hardest thing about it?