Ending Well
It’s important to end well—to face death with grace, love and courage. And since I’m still alive, I’m writing my thoughts based on what I’ve seen at the end of other people’s lives, not what I’ve personally experienced—yet.I’ve seen good deaths and not-so-good deaths. A good death leaves a blessing to those we leave behind. Conversely, a bad death brings more than its share of grief to our loved ones, so normal grief is compounded by unresolved feelings of guilt or anger.This happens because our culture tends to be quite phobic about death and dying--we don’t like to talk about it--so whether we’re the one dying, or watching someone die, we’re often unprepared.Being prepared spiritually, mentally and relationally exponentially increases the odds of us having a good death. How can we do that?Here are my top 6 things to think about in preparing for a good death:1. Regarding miracles and healing: pray for both. Be thankful if you get either. Don’t put all your health eggs in the healing/miracle basket, however. Allow that God may heal you, or He may not. If He doesn’t, it’s not because He’s mad at you or can’t heal you if He wanted to. He just doesn’t heal everyone, so get over yourself and accept it. Remember that even those He does heal die too, eventually.2. Regarding preparing for death: Do this before you’re old and sick. Write your obituary, make your final arrangements. Then tell someone what the plan is.3. Prepare others for your death: Allow others to talk about this with you, don’t shut them out. This goes for friends and family of someone who is seriously ill, too. Talk about the elephant in the room. Get it out there. Say I love you, I forgive you, I will miss you. Allow uncomfortable conversations to happen, and be patient enough to sit and listen.4. Be generous: Your life isn’t all about you. It’s about your spouse, your kids, your grandkids and your legacy to them. So spend time helping them process what’s happening to you. Be the grownup, not the victim. And don’t be afraid of tears. You are a human being with emotions.5. Don’t be selfish with last arrangements: If your loved ones want to bury you and put a gravestone down somewhere so they can “visit” you, let them. If they want to have a memorial service so they can cry with friends and family, let them. You’re going to be dead anyway, so let them be in on the decisions as to what happens to your body after you’re gone.6. Be prepared spiritually: More than 9 in 10 people believe in God, according to a 2011 Gallup poll. Fully 100% believe in Him after they die. But it’s not enough to just know that God exists. God desires to have a relationship with you, right now, through His Son, Jesus. He wants to help you to both live well and die well. Your end can be a great beginning, and you can learn more about how that can happen here.If you've thought about these things too, or have had an experience you'd like to share, go ahead and leave a comment.