Combating Mother's Day Angst

This Sunday marks the 100th anniversary of Mother's Day, when President Woodrow Wilson declared the second Sunday in May a national holiday to honor mothers. However, not all people look forward to Mother's Day. Many would prefer to avoid it completely and leap from celebrating Cinco de Mayo right on over to Memorial Day.Reasons for Mother's Day angst? Maybe Mom was less than, say, maternal, and Hallmark hasn't yet come up with a sentiment that adequately describes your relationship, or lack thereof. Maybe your mother recently died, and Mother's Day is another crummy reminder of what's been lost. Maybe you want to be a mother, and this is yet another year your arms are still empty. Or maybe your child is no longer here on earth--Mother's Day will be a day of mourning for you.I can relate to two of those scenarios.My mother has been gone for almost 28 years. There are many days in particular I think of her through the year--Mother's Day being one of them. She was a good mom--dry sense of humor, courageous in the face of hardship...marginal cook. She loved long car rides, Constant Comment tea, and Jesus. With each passing year I see her more in the mirror. Used to make me cringe--now I kind of like it. Sometimes I hear her when I talk on the phone to my kids. I wish she were still here...and in many ways, she is.I miss my daughter, Annie, too, who went to heaven three years ago when she was almost eight. I wish she were here this Sunday, so she could wear a pretty dress to church and bring home something she's made for me.Mother's Day can be hard. But I think there are a few ways to combat any depression you feel creeping in. Think about it. Maybe you don't have children, but you have--or had--a great mother. Celebrate her on Mother's Day. And if she's gone, do something that reminds you of her--bake her favorite cake, have a glass of her favorite wine, plant her favorite rose bush. Remember all the silly things you used to do together and how you are responsible for every one of her gray hairs.If your child is gone--same thing. I'll probably put pink flowers on Annie's grave on Saturday. There will be crying, of course, but I'll also thank God for every minute I had with her. Well, most of them. And when I see her again I'll ask her to draw me a picture so I can put it on my refrigerator in heaven.Mother's Day is a day to celebrate God's invention of motherhood. Isn't He great? I've been incredibly blessed to have had a great mother, to be a mom of seven kids, a grandmother of four (and a half), and to be surrounded by most of my adult children this Sunday. (Miss you, Olivia!)So celebrate already. Thank God for what He's given, what He's taken away, and what He will give you again someday. And on Sunday, give a mother a hug. Tell her she's doing a good job. It'll make her day. And for those of you who are still waiting for breakfast in bed, or any acknowledgement whatsoever that your mothering matters, let me tell you--it does. And your work will be rewarded.Happy Mother's Day,