Sex and the Bible: 2 Secrets to Help You (and Your Marriage) Weather a Crisis
You’ve just been hit by a train, or what feels like a train: a serious medical diagnosis, a job loss, a kid that keeps you up all night with worry, maybe even something as devastating as the death of someone close to you. Besides the urgent list of things you need to do, what is going to help you weather this crisis?
If you're married, sex with your spouse.
Yes, you heard me correctly. Something they never tell you in pre-marital counseling, or in most of the marriage books I’ve read, is the comforting value, the emotional glue, that being intimate with your spouse provides in times of crisis or grief. Sex = Comfort.The first thing we might cross off our list—okay, maybe just me---when we’re stressed beyond rational thought, is actually the gift that can help us step back from the ledge. (There's a biblical precedent for this, just to confirm I'm not making this up.)Being close with your spouse reminds you that you’re a team; you’ll get through this setback together.What else can help?
Spend time reading the Bible and praying together.
Bill and I didn’t always read the Bible and pray together. But somewhere along the line in our 34 years we started to sit down together for about 15 minutes before we begin each day. It’s not a big ordeal—we read a chapter of whatever book we’re in, and then pray. This prayer doesn't have to be an oratory in King James English, nor does it need to be long-winded. We just get to the point and talk the same way we write on Facebook--or Twitter. Less is more.Each day Bill and I pray for one of our children and their families. Then we pray for each other, whatever is going on that day, and whatever crisis we're dealing with. We also pray for others in tough situations--it helps us remember we're not the only ones going through a tough time--we're in good company.Praying together has provided us with an intangible comfort just by listening to one another share our concerns and burdens with God. We hear each other's hearts. We have a sense of where the other is emotionally and spiritually. This engenders trust and reassures us we're on the same page.
Reading the Bible and praying together has kept Bill and I connected to God and each other in each crisis we’ve gone through.* And trust me, there've been a few. Hundred.
It’s simple, but profound: Sex and the Bible. Two things that would help many marriages survive the weight of the crises that inevitably happen to all of us.Try it. Sit down with your spouse and read a chapter of comfort from the Psalms. Then sneak off to bed and remind each other that you’ll get through this--together.*For those of you who would like to read/pray but have an unwilling spouse, don't get frustrated. Just pray yourself. God hears and acts. Who knows? Maybe by this time next year, things will be different. Be assured, your prayers are heard.