7 ways to stop arguing with your husband

Bill and I have been married and lived in the same house(s) together for 30 years, which means: 1. we've had plenty of opportunities to argue, and 2. we're expert at eating crow.The fact is, we often come at any decision, question or problem from polar opposites. Bill is more analytical and cautious. I tend to jump to conclusions and clean up the debris later. We are different in our approach to many things, from food preferences to what movies we like to watch. (Okay, the truth is I don't like to watch movies. But if I did, we would probably prefer different ones.)So how do couples disagree without arguing? Here are my top 7 ways to amicably resolve disagreements, in no particular order:1. Don't assume that the problem needs to be "solved" immediately. Often, things can wait. If you see things differently, acknowledge it, then table the discussion until later.2. Give up your right to be right. Stop and ask yourself why it's so important for you to have it your way. Is his way acceptable and not criminal? Then do it his way this time. If you are "willing to yield" as James 3:17 says, then maybe next time he'll do it your way.3. Make it a win-win. Does he want Italian and you want Thai? How about having both? Does he want to sleep in and you want to get going early? How about if you meet up later in the day? Brainstorm to see if you can both have what you want.4. Don't enflame. If you enflame the situation by bringing up the past or by saying disrespectful things, then the original disagreement isn't the problem anymore. The problem is the nasty thing you just said. So stop. Stop and tell him you're sorry for saying that--and ask him to forgive you. Then do it his way.5. Don't escalate. Don't say, "You always," and "You never." Those words kill a discussion. You know your husband's hot buttons--don't push them. You don't want to win the argument and lose the war.6. Don't put down. Similar to #4 & #5, don't make sweeping comments about your husband that are designed to elevate your position and demean his. Be respectful. Tattoo Ephesians 5:33 on your arm and refer to it daily.7. Pray. This is my secret weapon, and it's Bill's secret weapon, too. We employ it on each other often. When we are having a disagreement we can pray--sometimes silently in the middle of our discussion--to find out what God's decision is. We may have in our mind what we want, but what we really both want is what God wants, because we know that's what will ultimately be the best thing for everyone. And if you pray but don't seem to hear the answer, revert to #1 again. Because often, things can wait.How about you? How do you keep disagreements from going ballistic? What tools do you use to resolve differences?